Alright this is kind of a venting session for me right here today. I’m warning you, I’m just gonna kind of let loose. This might be boring to  you but I’ve got to let this out.

A few days ago, a student in my grade that goes to my school hung themself. I still cry about it. I feel so guilty when I cry, not because I feel that I was part of his death, but that I wasn’t even that close to him. Does it seem disrespectful when people cry over people who aren’t very close to them?

I’m still in a bit of shock at this point. I cry and cry as I read and hear stories from people who were tight friends with this student. I constantly think, What if that was my friend? my brother? my sister? my parents? …even my dog. I can’t even imagine walking into my house finding someone I love dead. It would totally crush me.

This death is haunting me and I don’t know how to stop thinking about it. It scares me now how far my siblings are away from me. How little time I really spend with my parents. I’m not talking about just sitting at the table for dinner, but talking about what’s going on. Maybe spend a few hours a week together just hanging out. I realize I hardly ever have time and that’s my fault but it still gets me. And lastly, how often I tell them I love them.

I know that the student in my grade had outside issues as well. But don’t we all? We all have our little quirks. Some can be more serious though. They can affect our decisions and thoughts without us knowing it. I just wish they could’ve waited it out. Just that one extra day. Just wait until it got a little sunnier. We all have some stinky days but we weren’t put on earth for the purpose of suffering. We are here to live.

I promise I’ll get a nice happy recipe post up in the next day or two. On top of this I’ve got the ever stressful AP exam this Friday along with my final. So much studying!! Have a nice night and tell someone you love them. That you really love them.